Family secrets can have a powerful effect on us and seriously change the way we view people we love or ourselves. According to Psychology Today, there are three types of family secrets: individual, internal, and shared.

One of the things that he said to us once stood out to me. He told us that fear gives us two options, which boil down to two acronyms created by author Zig Ziglar:

Forget Everything And Run or Face Everything And Rise

I learned my lesson that year. And this year, when the volunteer squash and tomatoes popped up – they were ripped out. It pained me to have to rip out healthy plants, but I knew that if I didn’t pare down, nothing would grow well.

Kind of like life, right?

Another thing to watch is the voices in your head. They can be negative, critical, and downright abusive. Your own brain can be more brutal than an abusive “friend,” partner, or parent.

I slid down onto the bathroom floor, cell phone tucked against my ear while tears streamed down my face. On the other end of the line, my husband did the best he could to comfort me. It had been an emotionally brutal season.

You’ve almost certainly had a dilemma like this before. You’ve looked forward to something in the future, which ultimately caused you to not want to do what you had to get done.

It’s choices you’ve made, not who you are. Why do we always talk about this like when you do it, that’s it? Like that’s how people will know you and remember you forever? As a bully.

That feeling of regret sinks deep in your gut and almost makes you sick to your stomach. It creates anxiety, doubt, fear, and even panic. It's like a tidal wave you can see coming but can't do anything about.

How often do you think about failure? How often do you fail? Hopefully, not much. Do you fear it, work with it, or embrace it? Wait. Embrace it? Why in the world would we ever want to embrace failure?

Think about the last time you did something really dumb. I mean, really dumb. Why did you do it? When I was in fifth grade, I was obsessed with lighters.

We exist, but we don’t really LIVE. - We Work the same job. Microwave the same meal. Sit in the same chair. Click through the same channels. Stare at phones.

History is full of people who tried something, found it didn’t work, and then went on to find success and meaningful work in a totally different field (Ruggeri, 2017).

Here’s a few signs that it may be time for you to consider quitting something (Pinola, 2012).

“It helped.” No one else said anything until Damien brought up the football game from the other night. They played until Parker’s dad opened the front door and yelled that it was time for dinner. That night in bed Marcos couldn’t stop thinking about what Parker had said, that it had helped. Could it really help him too?

I knew it! Social media is not reality. But wait, we already knew that. But then why do we so needlessly get sucked into believing people are posting accurate representations of their lives? We tell ourselves that what we are seeing is not reality, but there is still this tiny voice in the back of our minds trying to convince us otherwise. And then we go and listen to it. 

Why? 

We want the glory without the work. We want the result without the pain. I know that might sting a little, and you may even disagree with me. But think for a moment. When was the last time you were experiencing a trial and thought to yourself, “Man, this is amazing; I can’t wait to see how much I grow as a result of this!”

The lesson was difficult. There are many circumstances in life that we can and should change. But sometimes, as much as we want a different outcome, what we have is what we get. It may be a diagnosis, a loss, a death, or some other circumstance that cannot be altered. At that point, life is what we make of it. And what do we make?

The thoughts you have most--the thoughts that dominate your everyday life and activity--are generally the thoughts that will move you in any given direction. If you tend to think negative thoughts, that bad things will happen, or that you're a terrible person etc., your life will move in that direction. Conversely, the opposite is true. 

Consent starts small. Yes, we typically use the word to refer to asking and/or giving a clear response regarding sex, but learning about consent doesn’t start there. It begins with understanding that your body is yours and yours alone. No one should ever do anything to it that you aren’t completely comfortable with. Ever.

We are all my 8-year-old. While we may not drop-kick people in the face and throw temper tantrums (at least I hope you don’t), we all allow our minds to tell us lies, that if we are not careful, we will end up believing. 

After a back injury, I was experiencing paralyzing muscle spasms, flashes of pain, and sleepless nights. I grew up in a family full of athletes, and I found myself feeling like an outcast and a failure. How could I be myself when the wrong turn of my body sent me into fits of pain? How could I keep up with my siblings when stretching the wrong way sent my muscles into spasms?