Interestingly enough, I have come to find that these brain patterns affect my relationships. Going back to high school, I can remember being awake at 6:30am to get ready for school. Awake, but not alert.

Do you find yourself overreacting to little irritations? Your spouse forgot to pick up something on the way home, and it sets you off in a bad mood for the entire evening. Your child tracked mud on the new carpet, and you explode.

Nature provides us with indicators that the seasons are about to change. One day you look outside and the leaves have started to change colors, the next day, you feel the nip in the air or see frost on the ground. Have you ever noticed subtle changes in the relationships around you?

Just three letters, s-e-x, and yet that one little word packs an explosion of thoughts, feelings, memories, and beliefs. It’s a loaded word that we would do well to redefine. Your immediate reaction to it probably carries either an undercurrent of embarrassment or intrigue, possibly both.

Discussing your physical relationship with the important person in your life is perhaps awkward, but definitely healthy for both of you. This conversation is important no matter your age or relationship with the important people in your life.

It means talking about your religious beliefs and how they relate to the important people in your life. You may not share the same beliefs, or perhaps you do, but the depth of your regular practice varies.

Family can mean many things. It can refer to your immediate family, extended family, the family you create by living with someone, or the growing family you may hope to have one day.

Example Roommates: Yes, even roommates need to talk about money. Is everyone paying their share of living expenses? Has it been on time? Be sure to discuss any upcoming expenses that may affect everyone living together.

Ten years ago, I received some good relationship advice that I still apply to my friendships and marriage today. I call it “The 5.” Five topics to discuss with someone you are in a relationship with that will help you both remain honest and keep things healthy between you.

We all know the scene. A certain person in a crowd catches another certain person’s eye. They glance at each other nervously, move around on the fringes, and finally come together to talk.

But the truth is, my parents didn’t have some strategic plan for getting the family together each evening for a meal. We were all home anyway and didn’t have the money to eat out. There was no ulterior motive or hidden benefit they knew about.

Yet despite the incredible connectivity across the world, people feel more lonely and more isolated than ever. Rather than meet our neighbors across the street, we sit alone and meet neighbors around the globe. It’s easier to scroll through social media

Your brain will grab hold of that memory and give it the power to interpret future interactions and relationships. For example, suppose another person hurts you by continually lying to you. In that case, you could find it difficult to fully trust or believe anyone. 

Everyone is a leader in some capacity because we have influence (even if only a little) over other people. And it's a bit sobering to think that your influence in another person's life can impact their growth and success as a person. In other words, people's lives can be better because of you. 

Over time, those relationships became strained and eventually toxic. I never learned to have grace and never allowed others to redeem the relationship. As I grew older, I had a hard time working with others and forming friendships. Because I never truly understood how to properly resolve conflict. 

There’s a strange and rarely spoken of dynamic in our culture that often questions the validity of mixed gender relationships. As one journalist put it, it’s as if, “they cast us as romantic time bombs, rather than people who simply care about each other and enjoy spending time together” (Gerson, 2020).

Love yourself. I'd heard the advice, but it never sank in. The people who screamed the message seemed self-centered and arrogant, and I didn’t want to be like them. But making everything about you is not what self-love is about. Not at all.

There is a little secret to it. And it’s all how you see the other person. What if you saw the other person as someone who needed just as much grace and love as you do? Because, like I said, if you’re breathing, then you have been wronged—meaning you have wronged another person.

So I got back at them. I made new friends. I found a new tribe, a new community. But these were not good people. Okay, so I really wasn't consciously trying to get back at my parents, but I did get myself mixed up in the wrong crowd. It was almost an overnight transformation. I became someone entirely different. 

What do I mean? Let me show you. Let’s say that one of your siblings has taken something of yours without asking. You’ve already talked with them in the past and told them they have to come to you first if they want to borrow something, but here they are wearing one of your favorite shirts again.