Are you a windows down or a windows up kind of person? Music on or off? Do you chat with the other individuals in the car, or do you prefer to keep mostly to yourself with books and earbuds?

Do you find yourself constantly saying, “I’ll do it later?” If not to other people, how often do you say it to yourself?

Have you ever been given something of incredible value that you could have invested in but failed to do so? Did the fear of failure paralyze you into complacency? Just being lazy? Why ruin a good thing? At one time or another and in one way or another, we all do this with money and possessions. But did you know that we also are guilty of doing the same thing with the skills and talents we have been given? 

I had a goal, but day after day, I couldn't seem to get to it. But don't worry. I'll get to it tomorrow. Today was just a busy day. I want to run, so that's a start. I feel motivated, but I just can't do mornings. I'm not wired that way. 

Do you really want to be the kind of person who thinks they have it all figured out, the person who has no weakness, who thinks they are perfect? Do you really want to be the arrogant one in the room? Admitting weakness is not weak; it's humble. And it's absolutely required if you're going to truly succeed. 

It can be frustrating, but there are times when, for whatever reason, we can’t just run headfirst directly at our goal. When my husband returned to school, he already had many of the skills he needed to succeed, but he had to invest years into education and networking to break into his industry. School wasn’t the destination, but was a propeller, moving the craft in the right direction. 

What if for the next 40 days I played the game myself? What if I specifically made sure to notice that the banker’s eyes were hazel as a way of paying greater attention to those around me? If nothing else, it certainly sounded better than giving up sugar!

But we don't do this with our goals in life. We are taught as kids to dream big, shoot for the stars--all that inspiring stuff. But I don't ever remember anyone telling me about all the tiny steps I needed to take to get there. So what happens? We end up staring at a mountain to climb, but we are too stressed, too busy, too broke, too ill-equipped, and too tired to bother. So there sits your dream, the top of the mountain seemingly unattainable and unachievable.

On one of our epic adventures, we simultaneously got lost and heard my dad calling. In an instant, we went from sheer joy to terrified. We have to go home now! But we have no idea how to get there. We weren't prepared for this moment. The goal of getting home was clear as day, but we didn't have the knowledge or the tools to adapt to our new and unknown environment and find a way home. 

That section, the opening passage to “29 Gifts: How a Month of Giving Can Change Your Life”, always cracks me up. The author is so honest with her feelings about this advice! And yet she agrees to give it a try. As a woman struggling with the daily frustrations of dealing with Multiple Sclerosis, Cami Walker decides to do the crazy thing and stop thinking about all of her problems just long enough to give away one thing every day.

Goals were easier when I was in school because someone else broke them down, held my hand, and told me what to do in what time frame. Out on my own, I was a little lost. I wanted to set and reach goals, but life got distracting. There were extra hours at work, problems to solve, new responsibilities, a Netflix show to binge watch…

Sometimes life purpose reminds me of messages in the kibble. The message is available but often we never discover the meaning. Fortunately, unlike the kibble code, we CAN decipher our inner calling. We just need to listen. I’ve found one of the best ways to hear my inner voice is deliberate silence. This can take practice, but it is worth the effort. 

But it's his average-ness that I love about him. It's what makes him actually pretty great. Because I had the opportunity over the years to watch him thrive where so many of us get stuck--living in the average. Let's face it, average is what describes most of us. But my dad has made the most of every gift, talent, and treasure he has--no matter how big or small. 

It sounds harsh. Trust me, it felt harsh. But they explained, “Only you can choose to make the right decisions for yourself each day. No one is going to call when you pick up that unhealthy snack and tell you to put it down. No one is going to text you to get out of bed in time for work, or to work out, or to make breakfast, or to read that book you’ve been wanting to. You have to make those decisions for yourself. Every day. No excuses. It’s only up to you.” 

While most of us are engaging in more and more screen time every day, less and less of us are walking regularly. It’s becoming easy to forget what we could do away from Netflix and videogames, Tik Tok and Instagram. So much time spent with technology also means that we get disconnected from our own bodies. Walking brings us back to earth and connects us with ourselves at the same time. It roots us. 

Question of the day: what if we never stopped growing? Physically, I mean. What if, for our entire lives, we were on a continual growth track that pointed in one direction: up. Well for one thing I’d imagine that there’d probably need to be elevators everywhere. Stores, restaurants, and schools would need to accommodate the shorter populace and the tallest. Maybe we’d utilize outdoor spaces more. I don’t have a clue how transportation or cars would work!

Did you know that even simple goals often change us in ways we don’t see coming? It’s true! Hitting your goal regularly of drinking more water will keep you hydrated, yes, but it might also have effects you didn’t expect like clearing up your skin or making it hard to sit through history class without using the restroom! The moral is that we can’t always see all the ways a goal will change us.

“Well, do we want to go or not?”

I was in that moment again. That moment where what I said would determine whether my husband and I would be attending a party, community event, or charity dinner. We led fairly full lives, as most young couples do, but I tended to guard our free time like a territorial wolf. “No” was my favorite word.

One of the most important things about learning to set goals is how to tell when one crosses the line from healthy to unhealthy. How can you tell one from the other? One of the biggest signs of an unhealthy goal is that you believe your happiness of value is dependent on it. It’s an illusion that getting that grade, beating that record, or dating that certain person will bring you the happiness you haven’t been able to find anywhere else. Another sign of an unhealthy goal is that you hide or don’t want others to know about how you are actually working toward it. As Brené Brown says in her book, “Daring Greatly”, “It’s not what you do, it’s why you do it that makes the difference. Are my choices leading to my wholeheartedness or do they leave me feeling empty and searching?”

One was that I didn’t change everything about what I was already doing, I actually started with what I already had. I didn’t go and buy a bunch of specialized diet food, but instead took a look at what I was already eating and started cutting down my portion size based on what I actually needed instead of going by my cravings. This, along with buying a kitchen food scale to help me measure portions, made me come to terms with what my body would use in relation to how much exercise I was getting, and the nutrients that were right for me for each day.