Teachers and administrators often say the same thing. But for whatever reason, the words “do your best” often translate to “don’t screw up” inside our heads.

Know what they found? Participants greatly under-estimated the effect that their small compliment would have on a stranger AND over-estimated how awkward it would be.

You might ask. “What’s a vision board?” Well essentially it’s a collage, but it’s a collage that you create with specific goals in mind. The idea behind a vision board is that if you create strong visual representations of where you want to be in your life within a certain timeframe or what you want to do by a certain date, you’re more likely to do it.

My dad was onto something there. He knew that by turning a chore we had to do into a game, we’d actually get it done a lot more quickly and with far less complaining.

Creating a budget can be insightful, but without accountability, is it really that useful? My parents are looking to retire in a few years and realized they needed to start living off a budget in order to see those financial goals met.

As this is something she was never taught, and I made the extra effort to learn, I want to share some insights for anyone else looking to create financial goals - specifically in the form of living off a budget. 

Are you a windows down or a windows up kind of person? Music on or off? Do you chat with the other individuals in the car, or do you prefer to keep mostly to yourself with books and earbuds?

Do you find yourself constantly saying, “I’ll do it later?” If not to other people, how often do you say it to yourself?

Have you ever been given something of incredible value that you could have invested in but failed to do so? Did the fear of failure paralyze you into complacency? Just being lazy? Why ruin a good thing? At one time or another and in one way or another, we all do this with money and possessions. But did you know that we also are guilty of doing the same thing with the skills and talents we have been given? 

I had a goal, but day after day, I couldn't seem to get to it. But don't worry. I'll get to it tomorrow. Today was just a busy day. I want to run, so that's a start. I feel motivated, but I just can't do mornings. I'm not wired that way. 

Do you really want to be the kind of person who thinks they have it all figured out, the person who has no weakness, who thinks they are perfect? Do you really want to be the arrogant one in the room? Admitting weakness is not weak; it's humble. And it's absolutely required if you're going to truly succeed. 

It can be frustrating, but there are times when, for whatever reason, we can’t just run headfirst directly at our goal. When my husband returned to school, he already had many of the skills he needed to succeed, but he had to invest years into education and networking to break into his industry. School wasn’t the destination, but was a propeller, moving the craft in the right direction. 

What if for the next 40 days I played the game myself? What if I specifically made sure to notice that the banker’s eyes were hazel as a way of paying greater attention to those around me? If nothing else, it certainly sounded better than giving up sugar!

But we don't do this with our goals in life. We are taught as kids to dream big, shoot for the stars--all that inspiring stuff. But I don't ever remember anyone telling me about all the tiny steps I needed to take to get there. So what happens? We end up staring at a mountain to climb, but we are too stressed, too busy, too broke, too ill-equipped, and too tired to bother. So there sits your dream, the top of the mountain seemingly unattainable and unachievable.

On one of our epic adventures, we simultaneously got lost and heard my dad calling. In an instant, we went from sheer joy to terrified. We have to go home now! But we have no idea how to get there. We weren't prepared for this moment. The goal of getting home was clear as day, but we didn't have the knowledge or the tools to adapt to our new and unknown environment and find a way home. 

That section, the opening passage to “29 Gifts: How a Month of Giving Can Change Your Life”, always cracks me up. The author is so honest with her feelings about this advice! And yet she agrees to give it a try. As a woman struggling with the daily frustrations of dealing with Multiple Sclerosis, Cami Walker decides to do the crazy thing and stop thinking about all of her problems just long enough to give away one thing every day.

Goals were easier when I was in school because someone else broke them down, held my hand, and told me what to do in what time frame. Out on my own, I was a little lost. I wanted to set and reach goals, but life got distracting. There were extra hours at work, problems to solve, new responsibilities, a Netflix show to binge watch…

Sometimes life purpose reminds me of messages in the kibble. The message is available but often we never discover the meaning. Fortunately, unlike the kibble code, we CAN decipher our inner calling. We just need to listen. I’ve found one of the best ways to hear my inner voice is deliberate silence. This can take practice, but it is worth the effort. 

But it's his average-ness that I love about him. It's what makes him actually pretty great. Because I had the opportunity over the years to watch him thrive where so many of us get stuck--living in the average. Let's face it, average is what describes most of us. But my dad has made the most of every gift, talent, and treasure he has--no matter how big or small. 

It sounds harsh. Trust me, it felt harsh. But they explained, “Only you can choose to make the right decisions for yourself each day. No one is going to call when you pick up that unhealthy snack and tell you to put it down. No one is going to text you to get out of bed in time for work, or to work out, or to make breakfast, or to read that book you’ve been wanting to. You have to make those decisions for yourself. Every day. No excuses. It’s only up to you.”