Question of the day: what if we never stopped growing? Physically, I mean. What if, for our entire lives, we were on a continual growth track that pointed in one direction: up. Well for one thing I’d imagine that there’d probably need to be elevators everywhere. Stores, restaurants, and schools would need to accommodate the shorter populace and the tallest. Maybe we’d utilize outdoor spaces more. I don’t have a clue how transportation or cars would work!

One of the most important things about learning to set goals is how to tell when one crosses the line from healthy to unhealthy. How can you tell one from the other? One of the biggest signs of an unhealthy goal is that you believe your happiness of value is dependent on it. It’s an illusion that getting that grade, beating that record, or dating that certain person will bring you the happiness you haven’t been able to find anywhere else. Another sign of an unhealthy goal is that you hide or don’t want others to know about how you are actually working toward it. As Brené Brown says in her book, “Daring Greatly”, “It’s not what you do, it’s why you do it that makes the difference. Are my choices leading to my wholeheartedness or do they leave me feeling empty and searching?”

Making a to-do list is incredibly helpful in achieving goals. It’s recommended. Personally, I love lists. Crossing things off is such a satisfying feeling. As much of an endorphin high as when finishing a mile run, in my opinion. My father-in-law used to call me Type AA - aka, I was so organized and list-oriented that it drove him crazy.

Think of this as a challenge, one with few repercussions if not completed but possibly some unrealized benefits if accepted and acted upon. The next time you pull out your “to-do” list and start making plans, goals, or dreams for the day or even the year, leave some room for fun. Give yourself at least 20-30 minutes a day to do something you really enjoy but often think of as a “waste of time.” Read that book, go for a drive, call that friend, sing your favorite song, paint a picture, let yourself dream again, and find out what you didn’t know you were missing.

Ready to set one food goal? Do a quick internet search, and you’ll find endless suggestions about nutrition—what to eat, what to never EVER eat (OMG!), and what the expert of the day advises. I’ve read boatloads of theories, tried lots of diets, suffered some disasters and had some big successes. In the end, I think it boils down to one thing: Eat nourishing food. 

There are so many benefits to cleanliness and organization. You may not have control over everything going on in your life, but this is one thing you can control. This space is YOURS. Also, like I briefly mentioned earlier, physical clutter can add to mental clutter and make it harder to focus. Each messy item is just reminding you of all the other things you have to do. Peace comes with putting everything in its place. Lastly, a clean space can also promote healthier choices. In one study, when participants were placed in either a messy or clean room - the ones in the clean room chose healthier snacks and were more generous (Madormo, 2021). 

Sometimes letting go of a goal is not the bad thing we think it will be. Instead, it provides us with the space and time for other things that we may not have been able to make priorities if we had stuck to the original goal. Also, it may mean that now is just not the season for us to pursue a certain goal if the motivation, passion, and determination is just not there no matter how hard we try to convince ourselves we can do it. 

Did you know that we each have a blind spot in life? It’s true! Referred to as the “bias blind spot”, this term was coined by three colleagues at Princeton University in a paper titled, “The Bias Blind Spot: Perceptions of Bias in Self Versus Others.” Here’s how it works.

Think back again to the mountain analogy. Not many hikers set out to just reach the summit without stopping. Instead, they plan for breaks along the way. They pack snacks and take breaks, enjoying the beauty around them as they climb.

Sometimes the very hardest part of goal setting is deciding what goal to set. It sounds simple, but if this question is not answered, then there is simply no way forward.

My children have a picture book on the shelf called, Someday is Not a Day of the Week written by Denise Brennan-Nelson. It’s one of those sneaky books that I think is actually written more for parents than for kids.

find them incredibly helpful at giving me a visual reminder of what I hope to accomplish in a day, and they are extremely valuable in helping me set tangible goals. However, I have come to learn that they are not the right tool for every circumstance.

The best thing any teacher ever told me was this: “You’re going to fail.” At first I was a bit taken aback. What did he mean, I’m going to fail? Wasn’t he supposed to say stuff like, “I believe in you!” or “I know you’re going to do amazing things!” What was this? 

Estrangement wasn’t what I ever wanted. I certainly never imagined that I would go years without speaking to my own mother. Without her speaking to or seeing her grandchildren. And  yet, here we were.

Intermittent fasting is one of the most popular. What is intermittent fasting? It’s an approach to eating that requires the participant to cut calories by either skipping meals, not eating at all on certain days, or limiting eating to certain hours of the day.

It was a particularly busy day. All three kids needed to be in separate places at about the same time, the fridge was showing the great need to be restocked, the pile of laundry was pleading for attention, and there were about 12 other items on my to-do list that I needed to get to.

Quick, see if you can answer these questions without looking at your closet or doing any counting! How many shirts do you currently own? How many pairs of pants? How many sweaters? How many pairs of shoes? Dresses?

The above is an example of a Monday and Tuesday in February 2021, my last (and lightest) semester of undergrad. Everything I did went on the calendar. Anything where I was expected to be somewhere, I logged it in my iCal, syncing across all devices.

It’s a valuable lesson that could apply to each of us as well. Of course it’s easy in life for us to pursue things that bring us glory or that show off our talents, but how are we at taking one for the team?

Relational goals are just as important as our task goals, even more important in many cases. So, as you start a new year, new month, or new week, think about those in your life that you want or need to invest in more. What can you do to build that relationship?