It’s tempting to fall prey to the idea that it’s good to surround yourselves only with people who look like you, agree with your beliefs or your religion, or are in the same financial bracket as you, etc. That can feel good at first because it’s so easy. We like to see ourselves reflected in others, to have what we already think affirmed or find that we share interests or opinions with someone else. These are all natural ways of bonding. The trouble starts when we begin to exclude anyone who falls outside those cozy formulas.

Have you ever been in the middle of your own crisis when someone tried to lean on you for support or looked to you for their own guidance and emotional balance? If you’ve experienced this, then you know what the usual response is: a wide eyed, blank stare that essentially says: What?!? I can’t help you right now! I’m barely capable of helping myself! This is a far more common situation than you might imagine. For many, hardship and trials lead them to lean on anyone who happens to be close enough to grab, even if that person is up to their neck in their own problems. When this happens within families, it can lead to really explosive interactions!

Before you write me off as crazy, let me explain. I’ve believed in taking myself on dates since I was a child, but back then, I didn’t know that was what I was doing.

It’s clear that dating apps are here to stay, and there are some unanticipated upsides to looking for love online. Of course, there’s always more to the story.

I like a clean house. A house where surfaces are cleared off, items aren't "stored" on the floor, and things tend to lean toward the minimal versus cluttered. My kids do not share this desire. The table is the best place to put all the things.

Confession: I didn’t learn how to truly say “No” until I was well into adulthood. Oh I said no to the big things or easy things. When I was sick enough that I was actually feverish or throwing up for example.

One of the things we absolutely need to consider when dating is what we are NOT looking for. I call these the non-negotiables. These are the things that, if they become present in a relationship, are a major red flag.

What if I told you that you could create the ultimate partner of your dreams? And what if everything you wrote down that that person did, came true? What if you could control them?

This scenario also plays out in our relationships. When we aren't purposely moving towards another, we tend to drift apart even if this is not our intention.

Most of us have many different kinds of people or friends we know who represent a vast array of personalities, habits, and unique characteristics. Perhaps you have that one friend you know you can call on when things in your life are really challenging.

I wish I could go back and tell my 16 year old self that nothing had happened to justify calling the police. Instead, I can only watch the playback in my mind of the call I placed to my mom to let her know what was happening.

I loved getting that phone call where he would sing just for me. As soon as I said ‘hello,’ he'd launch into the melody. Then he'd ask about my day, talk about the weather, and wish me a happy birthday.

No offense to those of you who love these kinds of movies, in fact, I feel like I might even understand why they are so appealing. We as people have always longed for romance and connection and happy endings, especially when things in real life get tough.

Competition is great for us. It teaches us perseverance, resilience, and tenacity. It also teaches us how to win and lose with grace. We need to keep this in mind whenever we challenge our siblings or our friends to a competition.

Relational goals are just as important as our task goals, even more important in many cases. So, as you start a new year, new month, or new week, think about those in your life that you want or need to invest in more. What can you do to build that relationship?

“Codependence.” Whether you know it as the mental health buzzword of the past decade or are not familiar with it at all, it’s likely that several people you will be close to throughout your lifetime will struggle with it.

Someone you trusted is caught in a lie. A friend who is loyal is found to have shared your secret. A brother who appeared to be of high integrity is found being deceptive.

Interestingly enough, I have come to find that these brain patterns affect my relationships. Going back to high school, I can remember being awake at 6:30am to get ready for school. Awake, but not alert.

Family secrets can have a powerful effect on us and seriously change the way we view people we love or ourselves. According to Psychology Today, there are three types of family secrets: individual, internal, and shared.

Do you find yourself overreacting to little irritations? Your spouse forgot to pick up something on the way home, and it sets you off in a bad mood for the entire evening. Your child tracked mud on the new carpet, and you explode.