Do you ever have recurring dreams? You wake up in the middle of the night or the early hours of the morning and remember distinctly what happened in the dream and then you say, oh I have had this dream before, multiple times actually. This happens to me all the time. One dream in particular that I have been having recently is getting locked out of my locker from high school. Now I should tell you that I have already been out of high school for over 10 years, so why does this dream keep coming up and why am I gripped with such terror when I am in the middle of this dream?

But I quickly found that when someone else could beat me, receive higher praise, or outshine me, I was indeed competitive. In all the wrong ways. Instead of seeing someone with a similar drive as healthy competition, I saw them as an enemy. That’s exactly what happened the day I met Kendra. Ooo, I didn’t like her. I was never musical or athletic, so I prided myself on being organized and efficient. I could run an event more smoothly than anyone. I could plan a meeting so efficiently you wouldn’t want it to be an email. 

Who we do or don’t live with affects our everyday life and mental health. When in high school, it’s more likely that you would live with your family, but after graduation, many move to a college or get a job and move out of the house. At this time, it’s likely you would have at least one roommate. A couple years later, you may live on your own if you prefer it or still choose roommates. Either way has its perks and downfalls and greatly affects your life.

In today’s world, there are countless distractions to keep our minds running and our bodies on the go. When it’s time to finally rest, the cards are stacked against us. If you’ve found it hard to turn off the fast-flying thoughts or to get that heart rate down when it’s time to sleep, here are a few ideas and why they will help. 

Regular exercise is so helpful and important for our physical and mental health. Physical activity releases endorphins in our brain, which helps us feel good. If you’ve ever went on a run, walk, lifted weights, danced, played a sport, etc., it’s likely you experienced the effects of endorphins. You feel great for a little while after the activity, are alert, and feel awake. If you are also dealing with stress, anxiety, or depression, exercise can be a great coping mechanism. I’m not sure I would’ve made it out of sophomore year of college without dropping organic chemistry if I wasn’t working out before or after class.

Exercise works wonders on the brain. Our bodies were created to move! Whether through dancing, swimming, running, weight training, boxing, etc., something beautiful happens when you choose to make activity a consistent part of your week. Walking is often underestimated as a way to exercise, but it is a great and simple way to take care of your body and improve brain health. It is also a great starting point if you’re wanting to get into other forms of exercise too. 

Breakups are just about inevitable. Romantic relationships are difficult to navigate at any point in life, and unfortunately, many of them don’t end well. Some of the most painful times in my life centered around losing that person closest to me, even if it was for the best. There are several stages you go through - denial, anger, sadness, maybe the crazies, regret, etc. Eventually, life starts to look up again - not everything you see reminds you of them, forgiveness happens, and you learn from the relationship. These relationships are often such an important part of your past. They’re going to affect you in the long-term. 

Listening to people makes them feel special. It makes them feel heard. It’s sad, really, that such a simple thing as having someone pay attention to us while we speak can make us feel better. But that’s the truth of it. How often do you find yourself talking and see a person’s eyes glaze over or wander past you? How often are you listening to a teacher, lecture, sermon, and find yourself miles away thinking about a completely unrelated topic? 

Unfortunately, many of us have spent time grieving in the past 1.5 years due to COVID-19. We’ve grieved the unexpected passing of family members. This kind of circumstance can affect the way we interact with others, and the way we see ourselves. 

There are two kinds of grief: acute and persistent/complicated. Acute grief lasts about 6-12 months after the loss, and persistent grief lasts longer than the 12 months. If you are dealing with persistent grief, it may be helpful to see a mental health professional to help you process and move forward. During a time of grieving, it is common for your mind to be filled with memories, thoughts, and emotions connected to the person you lost. You may also have a hard time really accepting the loss and have deep waves of sadness and desire for them. Chronic stress also comes alongside acute grief and can cause several issues, including having a hard time sleeping, depression, anger or bitterness, loss of appetite, and anxiety (How to Overcome Grief’s Health-Damaging Effects, 2021). These symptoms should not be ignored but more so accepted as part of the grieving process. It is important to be kind to yourself when you’re grieving - your loss was and is important. 

Social media seems to consume every waking moment. When you don’t have all the accounts and stay updated, it can feel like FOMO (Fear of Missing Out). Younger people hang out in person and end up scrolling through Tik Tok, Twitter, or Instagram. When talking to my family, we often say “Did you see that ___?” The blank could be someone having a baby, getting married, etc. There have been days I’ve looked at my screen time at the end of the day, and the social media use has been 3-4 hours. Limits can be helpful in creating and maintaining boundaries with what we’re putting in our heads. It can feel like a daunting goal, but it is good for our mental health.

Society often talks in extremes. Either you are a workaholic and need to chill out or you are lazy and need to do something with your life. It often seems like there is no middle ground, no balance. Personally, I tend to stay busy. I like having a schedule, routine, etc. I crave productivity in my daily life. However, if I don’t give myself any time to rest, my productivity level goes down, I’m irritable, and I feel exhausted.

We’ve all had those days where we take a water bottle to our work day or school and at the end of the day, the water bottle is only half gone. In 8 hours, you’ve only drank maybe 8 oz of water. Drinking lots of water doesn't seem like a big deal unless you’re thirsty. We can all manage with just a little water everyday, but we should really be prioritizing this small part of taking care of ourselves. Creating and keeping up with this goal can make a huge difference.

Not surprisingly, during the pandemic, many people became interested in house plants. As someone who has been a “plant mom” for about 6 years, I can agree that my interest has only grown in the past two years. There are few things that bring me joy like doing anything involving plants. As far as hobbies go, getting into house plants is relatively inexpensive, fun, and they bring decor to your house. So, let’s talk about this hobby. 

Our brains never really seem to turn off. From the moment we wake up, to the moment we fall asleep at night, the gears are constantly turning. Even when we’re sleeping, we have crazy dreams or nightmares, showing us our brain is still functioning to some degree, trying to process what happened today. Because our brains are constantly working, it’s important we provide the best fuel. Eating the right/best foods can make a huge difference in how we feel and our brain health.

A lot of research shows that birth order can impact the way a child grows up and who they develop into. However, others say it doesn’t determine anything. From what I’ve seen in my own family, as well as in close family friends, I think there is something to be said about birth order. It’s certainly not the be all end all - just like any personality theory, it can be taken with a grain of salt. 

So as an introvert, how do you make and maintain friendships? Try to make friends with people you already know at least a little bit. Is there someone in your classes you’ve talked to a couple times or someone at work that you’ve joked with? This next part sounds crazy, but try to make the first move (Granneman, 2020). I’ve had several close friends who on reflection, we realized we were both unsure about each other until one of us just made a move. Take the initiative! Ask questions and be a little vulnerable. Try to get to know the other person and truly listen to what they’re saying. Then, give them little pieces of you - what makes you tick and your peeves. Everyone enjoys really trying to understand someone else. Take the friendship slowly, and you’ll notice the awkwardness goes away with time, and you’ve got a new friend (Granneman, 2020). 

Over the past four years, I’ve gotten pretty good at packing. I can pack a 3-4 day bag in 5 minutes, sleep just about anywhere, and navigate I-69 like a pro. When I went to college, I don’t think I quite understood the kind of transitioning I would be doing. Moving in and out of dorms, being home for summers and breaks, and COVID-19 made transitions a regular thing. It wasn’t easy though. It took me 2 years to really feel like I had a solid community at college and then COVID-19 happened. Now, I have graduated and am ready to move to South Carolina, another transition. I will have to develop a new community, 11 hours from home. I’m exhausted with moving, but it’s good to embrace where you’re at, even in times of transition.

As children of a physical therapist, my brothers and I are constantly told to “Sit up straight!” As a student, I have spent many hours sitting (or should I say hunched over) at a desk on my laptop or reading. After a few hours, I notice that my neck, shoulders, and back of my head hurts. Freshman year of undergrad was terrible; sometimes, I had to stop working early due to head and neck aches. I even bought something similar to a recipe stand for textbooks to keep my head in line with my spine instead of dipping down to see a book. Posture is a seemingly harmless aspect of our physical and mental health; however, it affects more than we think. Therefore, we can easily create a goal of better postur

Society constantly tells us that we need to “Go, go go!” or we’re lazy, unambitious, or unmotivated. Even in this rising self-care movement, it can still seem like resting is frowned upon. However, rest is imperative! If we are constantly moving, thinking, working, etc., eventually, we will burn ourselves out and become irritable and all around exhausted. I personally struggled with this last year. 

Whether it be school, work, sports, or just maintaining a social life, our day to day lives can get pretty hectic sometimes. A way I like to calm down and destress after a long day of rushing from activity to activity is bullet journaling. A bullet journal is a journal of your own design with the purpose of recording the past, organizing the present, and planning the future. Bullet journaling is a simple but effective way to organize your thoughts and free up brain space each month. It can be however simple or detailed you want it to be and all you need is a dotted journal and a writing utensil. A bullet journal keeps track of your goals each month and it’s fun to look back on and see how far you’ve come. It’s also a great way to get your creativity flowing.