Question of the day: what if we never stopped growing? Physically, I mean. What if, for our entire lives, we were on a continual growth track that pointed in one direction: up. Well for one thing I’d imagine that there’d probably need to be elevators everywhere. Stores, restaurants, and schools would need to accommodate the shorter populace and the tallest. Maybe we’d utilize outdoor spaces more. I don’t have a clue how transportation or cars would work!

There are times when my heart begins beating fast, my mind starts racing, and I break out in a nervous sweat. It may seem that the cause of these symptoms would be from doing something challenging, such as taking a test or perhaps giving an important presentation. However, more often than not, these effects take place in my body shortly after scrolling through news articles online. 

Skin hunger? I promise, this has nothing to do with cannibals! When we discuss health and wellness, it’s safe to say that touch probably isn’t the first thing to come to mind. We might think of getting enough exercise, eating healthy, or working to create positive self talk about ourselves but hugs?

Well it turns out that hugs matter. A lot.

Even though practicing silence can feel frightening and unnerving at first, push past that feeling. Stay with it! There is a place on the other side of that fear where the waters of peace run deep. For you, maybe it’s in the morning shower before you’ve been sucked into the rhythm of the day. Or maybe it’s somewhere out in nature where you can sit alone and just feel the sun or the wind. Wherever it is, make a point to seek out silence sometime this week and befriend it.

An activity that forces you to think about something else besides whatever is worrying you is helpful. Distraction (to an extent) is a positive way to cope with something. I’m not talking about avoiding your problems and never working things out. When you’re not taking care of problems, you’re just prolonging anxiety and issues. Distraction is NOT healthy in this way. However, sometimes, we just need to clear our heads. For example, last year I was applying to graduate school, involved in several clubs and extracurriculars, working, and a full time student. I needed ways to just relax and let the anxiety out during that time. Driving is one way to do this. It gives me the opportunity to focus on something else. When your brain is in hyperdrive, it needs a break! Distraction can help.

While there are many physical benefits to good hygiene, there’s also an impact socially. People who take care of themselves in these ways tend to be more confident and have higher self-esteem. This boosts productivity at work or school, increases positive self-talk, and puts the person in a better mood. On the other hand, those who don’t practice good hygiene tend to have lower self-esteem and have increased thoughts of anxiety and irritability. It seems as though the saying holds true: look your best, feel your best!

Fact: Nothing feels awful the way that doing something that betrays yourself does. I can remember in vivid detail moments from my childhood when family members would turn their focus on me, throw their arms wide, and in front of everybody say, “Come here and give me a hug!” And I did. Even if I didn’t want to. Even if everything in me was saying, “No.” I still did. As a child, I hadn’t been taught yet that there are moments where it’s far more important to disappoint another person than it is yourself. Instead, I was taught, like many of us are, not to make a scene or “disrespect” adults so I didn’t. I betrayed myself instead. It wasn’t until my teen years that I learned the importance of listening to that still, small voice inside and that there was a way to tell the truth and still be respectful.

“Well, do we want to go or not?”

I was in that moment again. That moment where what I said would determine whether my husband and I would be attending a party, community event, or charity dinner. We led fairly full lives, as most young couples do, but I tended to guard our free time like a territorial wolf. “No” was my favorite word.

Rituals are a fantastic way to help us mark time that we would otherwise brush quickly past. It makes sense. We all tend to get caught up in the flow of things, our to do lists, in responding to all the emails, texts, and messages. A ritual is like a sticky note for life. It says, “Remember this!” It could be the hot drink in the morning that helps ease you into the day or the firm but kind handshake you give when meeting someone for the first time professionally.

I’ve somehow found a few good recipes in the past couple years, and I’m telling you, now, two loaves don’t last more than 36 hours in my house. Sometimes I can be a little reluctant to start baking, but once I do, I’m completely in the zone and am loving it. I put some music on and have the food to focus on instead of whatever I’m worried or stressed out about.  Baking is a great way to release stress and relax in a productive way. Sometimes trying to relax through something like watching TV doesn’t feel great. People like to rest in other ways that feel productive but stressless at the same time, and baking can be one of those ways. 

I’m a total nerd. Geek. Weirdo. Whatever you want to call me. I’ve always loved fantasy movies, books, anime shows, etc. Let me age myself by saying that I was in elementary school when Pokemon debuted. It was a huge deal. Besides the show, everyone was collecting and trading Pokemon cards, too. Even at our age, fights broke out over this game. Pokemon trading was banned from my elementary school. Parents were called when cards were traded during recess on the sly. It was like the black market - seven-year-olds sneaking prized Charizard cards to one another under their winter coats, while hiding on the playground slide.

One of the most important things about learning to set goals is how to tell when one crosses the line from healthy to unhealthy. How can you tell one from the other? One of the biggest signs of an unhealthy goal is that you believe your happiness of value is dependent on it. It’s an illusion that getting that grade, beating that record, or dating that certain person will bring you the happiness you haven’t been able to find anywhere else. Another sign of an unhealthy goal is that you hide or don’t want others to know about how you are actually working toward it. As Brené Brown says in her book, “Daring Greatly”, “It’s not what you do, it’s why you do it that makes the difference. Are my choices leading to my wholeheartedness or do they leave me feeling empty and searching?”

For several months, I was getting enough sleep. I was within the 7-9 hours recommended to adults, but I was still exhausted. I was up in the mornings, let’s say by 8am (college student) and finally in bed around 12am. Sounds ok right? Nope. Those 16 hours were filled to the brim with classes, my job, extra-curricular activities, homework, etc. My schedule was so crammed, I couldn’t think about anything else. Mentally, I was so tired.

One thing Sparky would do, that I hear is actually pretty uncommon for cats, is notice when I was upset. Whenever I was crying, he would leave his catnap spot and run over to me, rubbing against me, trying to get me to pet him. At the time, I was annoyed. “Really Sparky? I’m the one that’s upset, and you’re trying to get me to make you feel better?” Little did I know that petting your furry friend is actually a great way to cope with whatever is going on. Sparky was more intuitive and smart than I was at that moment. 

“How many of you have watched CSI, NCIS, Law & Order, Bones, or any other crime show on television?” Cue about 80%-90% of the hands being raised. The fact is that we often give ourselves a steady diet of violent images without even realizing it. That in turn feeds our own inability to be vulnerable and experience joy because the fearful images of what could happen are already stockpiled in our brains.

Gary Chapman published his book, The Five Love Languages, in the 90s, and a few years after that, the concept became very popular. You can ask just about anyone what their love language is, and they will have an answer for you, whether that be in romantic relationships, friendships, family circles, etc. So, let’s refresh on these!

Imagine if every time you got on your bike, you had to relearn how to ride it. Or every time you got in your car, you had to relearn how to get to work. Or on the flipside, what if you remembered every single experience you had or thing you learned in school? Either you retain nothing, or everything. Thank goodness we have a happy medium due to neuroplasticity.

If you live in today’s modern world, you have experienced desensitization. Most likely, you had no idea it was happening. At this point in people’s lives, it is part of their past - a thing that happened in their childhood and continues to happen daily. It grew monumentally with the growth of technology. It started hitting stages of adolescence when the Millennial generation was young. What’s the main form of desensitizing today? Social media.

A couple of months ago I read an article specifically for introverts. For those of you who don’t know what it means to be introverted, it simply means our energy recharges from being alone, versus extroverts who get recharged from being around people. Being an introvert does not mean we are antisocial or that we don’t like going to parties, it will simply drain our energy eventually and we will be spent. Many times people plan parties on the weekend or want to get together on the weekends because work usually won't interfere and it's the way things have always been done. This article suggested that introverts reverse that. It suggested that we try to do all of our socialization on week nights so that we can take the entire weekend for ourselves and have a true day of rest. 

The word “hobby” is thrown around a lot - maybe too much? Between school, work, extracurriculars, etc, etc... It’s easy to lose track of what’s a hobby in your life. If you have lost track, here’s a simple definition: an activity done regularly in one’s leisure time for pleasure. Now let’s break that down a bit.