I didn’t have good managers in a few of these jobs. This instilled a hesitancy or fear to go to my supervisors in future jobs when I needed something. I am fearful of having another bad manager now. One of my jobs was so stressful that I dreaded going to work every day.

Over time, those relationships became strained and eventually toxic. I never learned to have grace and never allowed others to redeem the relationship. As I grew older, I had a hard time working with others and forming friendships. Because I never truly understood how to properly resolve conflict. 

I knew it! Social media is not reality. But wait, we already knew that. But then why do we so needlessly get sucked into believing people are posting accurate representations of their lives? We tell ourselves that what we are seeing is not reality, but there is still this tiny voice in the back of our minds trying to convince us otherwise. And then we go and listen to it. 

Why? 

Do you really want to be the kind of person who thinks they have it all figured out, the person who has no weakness, who thinks they are perfect? Do you really want to be the arrogant one in the room? Admitting weakness is not weak; it's humble. And it's absolutely required if you're going to truly succeed. 

Or maybe we get so busy that we forget to include any time or space for curiosity, literally elbowing it out of our productive lives. Without evening noticing it, our eyes lose their sparkle and we walk right past things that would have intrigued us once upon a time.

In the past, knowing how to play an instrument was a sign of belonging to a certain level of society and was one of the main forms of entertainment and leisure. Now, music is available to anyone who has the determination to learn it.

I remember being in a particular relationship where I refused to cry. I thought crying showed weakness, and I couldn’t be weak. So, when I would start to feel emotional, I would leave. Obviously, this wasn’t a healthy way to express myself.

it appear like gold although it isn’t. Hence the name. I didn’t know it at the time, but there was a valuable lesson waiting to be learned while we scanned that gravel path during recess and it had nothing to do with minerals. Unfortunately, friends can come in the fool's gold variety too.

There’s a strange and rarely spoken of dynamic in our culture that often questions the validity of mixed gender relationships. As one journalist put it, it’s as if, “they cast us as romantic time bombs, rather than people who simply care about each other and enjoy spending time together” (Gerson, 2020).

We want the glory without the work. We want the result without the pain. I know that might sting a little, and you may even disagree with me. But think for a moment. When was the last time you were experiencing a trial and thought to yourself, “Man, this is amazing; I can’t wait to see how much I grow as a result of this!”

It can be frustrating, but there are times when, for whatever reason, we can’t just run headfirst directly at our goal. When my husband returned to school, he already had many of the skills he needed to succeed, but he had to invest years into education and networking to break into his industry. School wasn’t the destination, but was a propeller, moving the craft in the right direction. 

I wish this weren’t the case, but until you’re an adult, there are things you may not have a say in that will always drain you. That was the case for me as a teenager with my parents visitation schedule after their divorce. Packing and switching homes every week was exhausting in a way that went bone deep.

Several years ago, in my days as a teacher, a group of students bought me some Legos for my birthday. But these were not just any old Legos. This was Marvel’s Helicarrier from the Avengers movie--one of my favorites. I’m talking 3000 pieces of Lego bliss, more than 100 pages of instructions, and easily a few hundred dollars to purchase. I know what you’re thinking. My students are outstanding. And you would be right. 

Over the long haul, LOLing has even more benefits! It has the power to boost your immune system, help you feel more connected, and improve your mood (Mayo Clinic, 2021). There’s a yiddish proverb that says, “What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul.” Nothing wipes the slate clean or gives us that feeling of a fresh start like a good, strong laugh.

Now let’s go a bit deeper. What is it about the food that brings you nostalgia or happiness? I often associate ice cream with summer, which is my favorite season. Some of my best memories have come from summer. I think of being on the beach, going to the fair, and hanging at the pool with friends.

Love yourself. I'd heard the advice, but it never sank in. The people who screamed the message seemed self-centered and arrogant, and I didn’t want to be like them. But making everything about you is not what self-love is about. Not at all.

The lesson was difficult. There are many circumstances in life that we can and should change. But sometimes, as much as we want a different outcome, what we have is what we get. It may be a diagnosis, a loss, a death, or some other circumstance that cannot be altered. At that point, life is what we make of it. And what do we make?

What if for the next 40 days I played the game myself? What if I specifically made sure to notice that the banker’s eyes were hazel as a way of paying greater attention to those around me? If nothing else, it certainly sounded better than giving up sugar!

Last year, my anxiety was through the roof, and I went to see a therapist. She was able to speak truth into my life based on just knowing about my enneagram number. During one of our first sessions, she brought up the idea of grace statements. We agreed that I would never talk to a friend the way I talk to myself regularly.

With her desk in mind, I pondered organization. I tended to clean sporadically, but the mess returned within hours. Could a person really truly keep their space tidy, day in and day out? The more I toyed with that idea and tried it now and then, the more I became convinced: A clean area inspires creativity, instills confidence, and improves quality of work.